Lovely Day For Lawn Mowing

Orlando Hudson.  DFA'd today.
[Editor's note:  I was wrong.  He was given his outright release.  That's even better!]

Finally.  Don't let the door hit your lawnmower on the way out of town, 'Lil Buddy.

If you gotta go, go with a smile!

Why so serious?

May 17, 2012 will be forever known as Mow My Lawn Day in the city of San Diego.  I have decreed it.
[Editor's note:  I have no authority here whatsoever.]

The Mow My Lawn meme is dead.  Long live Dickisms!

The only problem with this is I now have a whole bunch of lawn mower jokes that I'll never be able to use.  So, after the jump, some of my favorites.

Hey, I've got to get these out of my head somehow...

The Ghost & God's Vagina, Part II: The Suitening

After our late night on May 4th, Ashley & I were back at it the next day.

We met up with Brandon at Lolita's again, as he had our tickets.  Brandon has half-season tickets and while we were sitting there he got a call from his season ticket rep, Steve.  Steve had a suite reserved for his best clients that night and wanted to know if Brandon would like to get an upgrade.

Score!

The Ghost & God's Vagina, Part I: Worst. Porn Title. Ever.

Friday, May 4th, I got to take Ashley, aka @sandiegogirlie of God's Vagina to the game.  I'd met her once before at Trevor Hoffman's jersey retirement.  We converse almost daily on Twitter and she's a broke college student who loves her some Cory Luebke.

Mostly, I keep @homersapien619 from creeping on her.  That guy can be really creepy.  I'm talking "put the lotion in the basket" creepy.

The Egg McMuffin of... Movies: An Open Letter To Hollywood

Dear Hollywood,

Stop it.  Stop it now.

You've already ruined childhood memories of GI Joe.  And, you continue to ruin my memories of Transformers.*

I thought it was bad --and hilarious-- when I saw that Rock 'Em, Sock 'Em Robots the Movie --I mean, Real Steel-- was coming out.  In fact, my friend Bill and I joked on Facebook about other movies that were in the pipeline:  Candy Land the Movie.  Tiddlywinks the Movie.  Battleship the Movie...

Writing About Whiners, Part II

"I can't complain, but sometimes I still do." ~ Joe Walsh, "Life's Been Good"

Pictured:  The average Cincinnati Reds
fan so far this season.  Allegedly.

As a Padres fan for more years than I can count (I suck at math), I've seen just about everything.

But, thanks to Twitter, I've seen more complaining then ever before from fans.  Bitter, whiny, bitchy complaining about players, umpires, owners, managers, etc.

And I'm the first one to admit I'm one of those people.  I mean, did you SEE how Umpire Dale Scott f**ked us?